What is evil? Is the devil real? Is there a head bad guy?
Are there still evil spirits today like the ones Jesus "cast out"?
Is that what mental illness is? Then why does medication sometimes help? (Like for my depression.)
When did Jesus realize that he was going to be crucified? I find it hard to believe that he knew when he was 12. We that revealed to him in the dessert? Or was it a slower process that eventually showed him there was no other way?
How did all those people recognize him without tv? He must have been so inviting, so charismatic.
What classes do I need to get a el ed cert in Illinois?
Any ideas?
Monday, January 10, 2011
Friday, January 7, 2011
So one of my New Year's Resolutions is to spend more time in the Bible and to keep better track of that growth and our family. To not forget, I guess. So I'm going to try to do that here. Comment if you want, ignore it if you want, whatever. Trying to catch up feels hard, so I'm just going to start now.
I'm reading Conversations with Scripture: The Gospel of Mark by Borg. It is great. Scott and I have been looking at the Bible differently from how we have in the past. Looking at is a literature, as story. Trying to see the more, not just the facts or events, but what the writers mean. It makes me love the Bible more and eager to discover what I've missed. For example the author of Mark tells the disciples that they are blind, have eyes but cannot see. Then there is the story of Jesus restoring sight to a blind man. Then the journey to Jerusalem, and right before they get there, he heals blind Bartemeaus. Two example of Jesus helping the blind to see.
I was also struck today by how three times Jesus pulls the disciples aside and tells them what will happen in Jerusalem. Just like I would try to prepare my kids if something different or scary were about to happen. And in Mark at least, he says "son of Man" and speaks in 3rd person. Maybe because it was too scary even for him to say "this will happen to ME, I will die"? I don't know.
One other realization I had recently that I want to remember. I was listening to a Donald Miller lecture. He was talking about how physicists don't really know what light it. It doesn't have matter. It isn't made of particles. If you put it in a vacuum it will go on forever, so it transcends time. And we can't see it. We can only see what it reflects off of. And that God is like light. I'd heard "God is light" my whole life, but to think of God as I think of light is really helpful. I don't want to think of God as a person anymore. But as an energy through which I see everything, that I like. And I like the idea of God wanting to create something and picking light first, as if to say, this is what I'm like. Here's something that can show you a little bit of me.
And then when you look at all the light and dark imagery in the Bible, it is astounding. Moses had to wear a veil because of the shining light, Jesus glowed at the transfiguration, etc.
Let there be light...this is what I am like.
So my new way of seeing the parts of God...God is light, permeating everything and through which life is possible.
The Spirit is the energy of God, helping us physically feel his presence.
Jesus as the flesh of God. Proving that violence and death don't have the last word, and that when we live like him we can see (because of light) the kingdom of God on earth, and the Gospel, "The Kingdom of God is at hand," fulfilled.
So now boy updates:
Derek is talking a lot. It is so much fun. He'll say something that we don't understand. Paul will try to translate and say something completely random. He's such a good Big Brother. He has a solar system in his room that he got for Christmas. Last night he called me to his room because the shadow of the planets was making angry faces on the ceiling. Why are we automatically afraid? I don't want my kids to be afraid.
I don't want to be afraid. Teach me to not be afraid, and the difference between boldness and arrogance.
I'm reading Conversations with Scripture: The Gospel of Mark by Borg. It is great. Scott and I have been looking at the Bible differently from how we have in the past. Looking at is a literature, as story. Trying to see the more, not just the facts or events, but what the writers mean. It makes me love the Bible more and eager to discover what I've missed. For example the author of Mark tells the disciples that they are blind, have eyes but cannot see. Then there is the story of Jesus restoring sight to a blind man. Then the journey to Jerusalem, and right before they get there, he heals blind Bartemeaus. Two example of Jesus helping the blind to see.
I was also struck today by how three times Jesus pulls the disciples aside and tells them what will happen in Jerusalem. Just like I would try to prepare my kids if something different or scary were about to happen. And in Mark at least, he says "son of Man" and speaks in 3rd person. Maybe because it was too scary even for him to say "this will happen to ME, I will die"? I don't know.
One other realization I had recently that I want to remember. I was listening to a Donald Miller lecture. He was talking about how physicists don't really know what light it. It doesn't have matter. It isn't made of particles. If you put it in a vacuum it will go on forever, so it transcends time. And we can't see it. We can only see what it reflects off of. And that God is like light. I'd heard "God is light" my whole life, but to think of God as I think of light is really helpful. I don't want to think of God as a person anymore. But as an energy through which I see everything, that I like. And I like the idea of God wanting to create something and picking light first, as if to say, this is what I'm like. Here's something that can show you a little bit of me.
And then when you look at all the light and dark imagery in the Bible, it is astounding. Moses had to wear a veil because of the shining light, Jesus glowed at the transfiguration, etc.
Let there be light...this is what I am like.
So my new way of seeing the parts of God...God is light, permeating everything and through which life is possible.
The Spirit is the energy of God, helping us physically feel his presence.
Jesus as the flesh of God. Proving that violence and death don't have the last word, and that when we live like him we can see (because of light) the kingdom of God on earth, and the Gospel, "The Kingdom of God is at hand," fulfilled.
So now boy updates:
Derek is talking a lot. It is so much fun. He'll say something that we don't understand. Paul will try to translate and say something completely random. He's such a good Big Brother. He has a solar system in his room that he got for Christmas. Last night he called me to his room because the shadow of the planets was making angry faces on the ceiling. Why are we automatically afraid? I don't want my kids to be afraid.
I don't want to be afraid. Teach me to not be afraid, and the difference between boldness and arrogance.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Fun Stuff I don't wan't to forget
Since Derek got me up early, I thought I'd write about some things I've been meaning to jot down.
When Derek sneezes, he always does it twice and then smiles and says, "Dah, dah, dah," like it is SUCH a relief to get that out.
Derek is crazy about the potty chair in the bathroom that Paul uses as a stool to brush his teeth. If the bathroom door is open for a moment, Derek races in there to pound on the stool and pull himself up so he's lying across it on his tummy.
Derek thinks Paul is THE best thing in the whole world. If Paul enters the room Derek lights up. When we get into the van we play this game with Paul where he closes the sliding door before we get him strapped in. Then we open it up an tickle him. Derek watches the whole thing from his seat and just smiles, like he's never seen it before. When they can start working together, I'm in big, big trouble.
Derek loves to crawl under things. He's always under the table, back and forth. I took him to the health dept to get his shots and he crawled under the whole line of chairs in the waiting room. He'd REALLY like to climb the stairs, just can't quite do it yet.
He's eating puffs by the handful. I wish he'd get some teeth already.
He has the best smile, and when he laughs you absolutely melt.
Yesterday I asked Paul how his pear was a breakfast. He said, "Incredible." I was a little stunned at his strong response, then he said, "What does incredible mean?"
I'm working the nursery at church on Wednesdays for "family fun night." A few weeks ago it was just Derek and me. So before Scott and Paul left they came in and we got some blocks out. We made a bridge and then Paul got some drum sticks for each of us. We all banged on the blocks while we played the "Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar" game. We were loud and crazy and it was SO much fun. One time when Paul said it was Daddy, instead of saying, "Couldn't be" he said, "You're darn right!" So now that's how Paul ends the game whenever we play it.
Yesterday we had a scavenger hunt. I just wrote places around our house on little slips of paper and he went from one to another. I didn't have to help him read much at all. And he didn't get frustrated when it took a few minutes to figure it out. I tried doing one where I just drew pictures of the places, but due to may lack of artistic talent, that was more frustrating than reading :)
Paul LOVES preschool. There are different jobs for each student: Snack helper, line leader, caboose, Pledge helper (you get to hold the flag for the pledge of allegiance, which he can say by himself), paper passer, bell ringer. He loves them all. Each Monday I hear what he is this week. And each Thursday I hear what he hopes to be next week.
It is getting cold, but we are still playing baseball in the back yard. He likes to play behind the garage and try to hit the ball over onto the driveway. (The balls are soft, so we won't break any windshields.) When he does, we have to run around opposite sides of the garage to find it.
He still likes to help his dad with crossword puzzles. But usually his first question is, "How do you cheat on this one?"
Last night we went bowling. I beat Scott with a 152 (yeah baby). Paul bowls like he's pitching the ball down the lane. Once it skipped the bumper and went into the lane next to ours. Opps. Scott put some money into the music machine so we could hear something besides boom chicka boom music. Paul's face LIT UP when he heard "Angel of Harlem," too cute. He is equally excited when he knocks over one pin as when he gets a spare. Why can't we all celebrate little victories like that?
We are having SO much fun. I wish we could just do this forever. I wish they wouldn't grow up an get mouthy and want to spend time with some other girl...
When Derek sneezes, he always does it twice and then smiles and says, "Dah, dah, dah," like it is SUCH a relief to get that out.
Derek is crazy about the potty chair in the bathroom that Paul uses as a stool to brush his teeth. If the bathroom door is open for a moment, Derek races in there to pound on the stool and pull himself up so he's lying across it on his tummy.
Derek thinks Paul is THE best thing in the whole world. If Paul enters the room Derek lights up. When we get into the van we play this game with Paul where he closes the sliding door before we get him strapped in. Then we open it up an tickle him. Derek watches the whole thing from his seat and just smiles, like he's never seen it before. When they can start working together, I'm in big, big trouble.
Derek loves to crawl under things. He's always under the table, back and forth. I took him to the health dept to get his shots and he crawled under the whole line of chairs in the waiting room. He'd REALLY like to climb the stairs, just can't quite do it yet.
He's eating puffs by the handful. I wish he'd get some teeth already.
He has the best smile, and when he laughs you absolutely melt.
Yesterday I asked Paul how his pear was a breakfast. He said, "Incredible." I was a little stunned at his strong response, then he said, "What does incredible mean?"
I'm working the nursery at church on Wednesdays for "family fun night." A few weeks ago it was just Derek and me. So before Scott and Paul left they came in and we got some blocks out. We made a bridge and then Paul got some drum sticks for each of us. We all banged on the blocks while we played the "Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar" game. We were loud and crazy and it was SO much fun. One time when Paul said it was Daddy, instead of saying, "Couldn't be" he said, "You're darn right!" So now that's how Paul ends the game whenever we play it.
Yesterday we had a scavenger hunt. I just wrote places around our house on little slips of paper and he went from one to another. I didn't have to help him read much at all. And he didn't get frustrated when it took a few minutes to figure it out. I tried doing one where I just drew pictures of the places, but due to may lack of artistic talent, that was more frustrating than reading :)
Paul LOVES preschool. There are different jobs for each student: Snack helper, line leader, caboose, Pledge helper (you get to hold the flag for the pledge of allegiance, which he can say by himself), paper passer, bell ringer. He loves them all. Each Monday I hear what he is this week. And each Thursday I hear what he hopes to be next week.
It is getting cold, but we are still playing baseball in the back yard. He likes to play behind the garage and try to hit the ball over onto the driveway. (The balls are soft, so we won't break any windshields.) When he does, we have to run around opposite sides of the garage to find it.
He still likes to help his dad with crossword puzzles. But usually his first question is, "How do you cheat on this one?"
Last night we went bowling. I beat Scott with a 152 (yeah baby). Paul bowls like he's pitching the ball down the lane. Once it skipped the bumper and went into the lane next to ours. Opps. Scott put some money into the music machine so we could hear something besides boom chicka boom music. Paul's face LIT UP when he heard "Angel of Harlem," too cute. He is equally excited when he knocks over one pin as when he gets a spare. Why can't we all celebrate little victories like that?
We are having SO much fun. I wish we could just do this forever. I wish they wouldn't grow up an get mouthy and want to spend time with some other girl...
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Paul's version of U2s "Elevation" and other cute stuff
I'm way behind on my keeping track of cute things Paul has said. So that's what I'm doing today.
Ever since we bought "No Line on the Horizon," (U2s new album) Paul's been wanting to watch our DVD of the Vertigo tour. He plays his drums along with the music (and isn't too bad) and tells you who each band member is as they are shown on the screen. He's fascinated with the confetti and "cool lights" (pronounced "yites"). This morning he was singing "Elevation" for me:
(I was just informed that Adam has a green bass guitar)
Ya Mole
Diggin in a hole
Diggin in my soul
Jump around
Exclamation
My life in the sky
You make me feel like I can fly
So high...
(and then nothing where "Elevation" would be because on the DVD Bono lets the audience sing that part)
Then he sings the "Ohs" really high.
Then Larry (Yarry) comes in on the drums and Paul "rocks out" on his drums.
Yesterday Paul said he wanted to watch the song where Bono plays guitar. So I was going to each track for him and he kept saying, "No, that's..." what ever the song was (often times I didn't know what the song was from the few seconds he heard). Finally he said, "It's One Love, Mommy." I want him to know that song, even if he has the name wrong.
Yesterday (St. Patrick's Day) I woke at 6:30 to him singing, "I know I'll go crazy if I don't go crazy tonight" followed by "Uno, dos, tres, catorce" (sorry, I don't know how to spell in English, let alone Galic).
So whenever he wants to do something he says, "You know what we haven't done in a while? Watched a Thomas movie," (or whatever he wants at that moment, even if you just watched a Thomas Movie).
Paul was sitting on the couch while I was feeding Derek Sunday morning. We had a movie from the video store with a bunch of different stories on it, Thomas, Bob the Builder, Barney, etc. I told him he could pick one to watch while I fed Derek. I asked what he wanted and he cocks his head a little to the side and looks at me out of the corner of his eye and says, "You know what I'm gonna pick..." and plays the Thomas one of course.
Just a thought, if it is true that watching video with lots of blinking lights before you are 3 gives you ADHD, then Derek is screwed, because that's all this concert is...
Paul was helping me give Derek a bath last week (he's in charge of the soap). I was finishing up and Paul says, "don't forget about the part when he pees!" And then Derek did, guess he just needed that reminder.
It has been beautiful here, and when Paul and Scott go outside to push his bubble mower, they have to go "shopping" (the mower is his cart) in the front yard and buy the "ingredients" for chocolate cupcakes. Which are eerily similar to the ingredients for apple sauce bread, since we make that together about once a week and he has them memorized. But he does buy chocolate and pink frosting for his cupcakes.
This moring I put Derek in the outfit he wore to come home from the hospital. He was swimming in it that day. Now it fits. He's 8 weeks today. I can't believe it. (Slept 6 hours last night!!!)
Ever since we bought "No Line on the Horizon," (U2s new album) Paul's been wanting to watch our DVD of the Vertigo tour. He plays his drums along with the music (and isn't too bad) and tells you who each band member is as they are shown on the screen. He's fascinated with the confetti and "cool lights" (pronounced "yites"). This morning he was singing "Elevation" for me:
(I was just informed that Adam has a green bass guitar)
Ya Mole
Diggin in a hole
Diggin in my soul
Jump around
Exclamation
My life in the sky
You make me feel like I can fly
So high...
(and then nothing where "Elevation" would be because on the DVD Bono lets the audience sing that part)
Then he sings the "Ohs" really high.
Then Larry (Yarry) comes in on the drums and Paul "rocks out" on his drums.
Yesterday Paul said he wanted to watch the song where Bono plays guitar. So I was going to each track for him and he kept saying, "No, that's..." what ever the song was (often times I didn't know what the song was from the few seconds he heard). Finally he said, "It's One Love, Mommy." I want him to know that song, even if he has the name wrong.
Yesterday (St. Patrick's Day) I woke at 6:30 to him singing, "I know I'll go crazy if I don't go crazy tonight" followed by "Uno, dos, tres, catorce" (sorry, I don't know how to spell in English, let alone Galic).
So whenever he wants to do something he says, "You know what we haven't done in a while? Watched a Thomas movie," (or whatever he wants at that moment, even if you just watched a Thomas Movie).
Paul was sitting on the couch while I was feeding Derek Sunday morning. We had a movie from the video store with a bunch of different stories on it, Thomas, Bob the Builder, Barney, etc. I told him he could pick one to watch while I fed Derek. I asked what he wanted and he cocks his head a little to the side and looks at me out of the corner of his eye and says, "You know what I'm gonna pick..." and plays the Thomas one of course.
Just a thought, if it is true that watching video with lots of blinking lights before you are 3 gives you ADHD, then Derek is screwed, because that's all this concert is...
Paul was helping me give Derek a bath last week (he's in charge of the soap). I was finishing up and Paul says, "don't forget about the part when he pees!" And then Derek did, guess he just needed that reminder.
It has been beautiful here, and when Paul and Scott go outside to push his bubble mower, they have to go "shopping" (the mower is his cart) in the front yard and buy the "ingredients" for chocolate cupcakes. Which are eerily similar to the ingredients for apple sauce bread, since we make that together about once a week and he has them memorized. But he does buy chocolate and pink frosting for his cupcakes.
This moring I put Derek in the outfit he wore to come home from the hospital. He was swimming in it that day. Now it fits. He's 8 weeks today. I can't believe it. (Slept 6 hours last night!!!)
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Preschool is awesome
Paul is going to preschool twice a week now. He loves it and I love it. I get to sleep, and he gets to spend time with Daddy after preschool.
Today he came in the door and told me that "The yiddle (little) boy sat on the chair and they asked him what he'd do if he had a dinosaur and he said he would smash it and everybody yaughed."
Then when he got to Scott's room he took a ball and told the class that he wanted to hit someone in the head (which he did on Thursday). So they played along. One boy caught the ball he threw and he said, "Nice catch, Kyle" because the his helper at Preschool is Kyle so that means every boy at daddy's school is Kyle.
Derek is getting more and more alert. It looks like he's really seeing you when he looks at your face. I don't know how much he can see, but it seems like he's really looking. We've have 5 hours of sleep two nights in a row, so I'm hoping we're on the right track!
Today he came in the door and told me that "The yiddle (little) boy sat on the chair and they asked him what he'd do if he had a dinosaur and he said he would smash it and everybody yaughed."
Then when he got to Scott's room he took a ball and told the class that he wanted to hit someone in the head (which he did on Thursday). So they played along. One boy caught the ball he threw and he said, "Nice catch, Kyle" because the his helper at Preschool is Kyle so that means every boy at daddy's school is Kyle.
Derek is getting more and more alert. It looks like he's really seeing you when he looks at your face. I don't know how much he can see, but it seems like he's really looking. We've have 5 hours of sleep two nights in a row, so I'm hoping we're on the right track!
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Parenting is Hard
Paul won't go to sleep and keeps calling us up to his room. Scott just came down and said, "It is hard to even be annoyed with him when he's so cute!" I want to let him come sit on the couch and watch a movie. (Like I could stay awake for it.)
We were at Applebee's today and some song came on and Scott said, "This song is dumb." So of course Paul repeated that. I tried to explain that it isn't nice to say things are dumb. But you know, some things are. Some songs especially. So when does it become "okay" to say that? I don't know.
Paul is a master of taking phrases he's heard and using them correctly in other situations. Today it was, "You know what I was thinking? I was thinking we should go to the toy store and play with the Thomas trains."
It occurred to me tonight that I am so blessed to have so many people help me. First is my husband. He prepared every meal we ate this weekend. He's amazingly patient when I'm crabby and sleep deprived. (I took a nap today that may have saved our marriage :) I'm so thankful that I'm nothing but thrilled when Paul wants to do everything just like him. (Like wear Daddy's Chicago Bears ear muffs under his hat, just like Daddy.) I'm thankful that Paul wants to play drums like Daddy, and guitar and piano. And sing with Daddy. This week he's been going around the house singing, "Lord Reign in Me." But he says his "L"s like a "Y". So it is Yord reign in me. So cute.
Then there's my friend Christine who made me commit to a date when I would drop Paul off and take a nap (even though she has twin boys of her own). And there's Grandma Sally and Grandma Leah and Aunt Julie and Krystal. It takes a village, and I'm so thankful for mine.
We were at Applebee's today and some song came on and Scott said, "This song is dumb." So of course Paul repeated that. I tried to explain that it isn't nice to say things are dumb. But you know, some things are. Some songs especially. So when does it become "okay" to say that? I don't know.
Paul is a master of taking phrases he's heard and using them correctly in other situations. Today it was, "You know what I was thinking? I was thinking we should go to the toy store and play with the Thomas trains."
It occurred to me tonight that I am so blessed to have so many people help me. First is my husband. He prepared every meal we ate this weekend. He's amazingly patient when I'm crabby and sleep deprived. (I took a nap today that may have saved our marriage :) I'm so thankful that I'm nothing but thrilled when Paul wants to do everything just like him. (Like wear Daddy's Chicago Bears ear muffs under his hat, just like Daddy.) I'm thankful that Paul wants to play drums like Daddy, and guitar and piano. And sing with Daddy. This week he's been going around the house singing, "Lord Reign in Me." But he says his "L"s like a "Y". So it is Yord reign in me. So cute.
Then there's my friend Christine who made me commit to a date when I would drop Paul off and take a nap (even though she has twin boys of her own). And there's Grandma Sally and Grandma Leah and Aunt Julie and Krystal. It takes a village, and I'm so thankful for mine.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Arrival of Derek Jude Part 2
***If you haven't read Part 1, you may want to scroll down and do that first***
Okay, so here's the rest of the story (only 5 weeks later, I've been a little busy).
I really wanted Scott to get to teach the whole school day. They called off school the Thursday and Friday before because it was SO cold. Then we were in the hospital Monday, so Tuesday was his first day there in a while. I asked the doctor if he thought this was okay. He said if my contractions got to 3 minutes apart I shouldn't wait any longer.
So I called Scott to give him the heads up. I told him I would try to wait until 3:05, but I couldn't make any promises. Julie drove me back to Rochelle (about 15 minutes) and the contractions immediately came faster. I knew the Scott had a prep period shortly after one. I called him then and told him I was going to the hospital, and asked if he could come or if Julie should take me. He said he'd be home in 10 minutes. This was another example of God taking care of us. The person who was going to sub for him the rest of the week was in his room when I called. He went over plans with her. Then on his way out of the building he ran into the person who had volunteered to do PA at a basket ball game if he needed. So he made arrangements with her and then came to get me.
I was waiting (impatiently) and off we went back to DeKalb. We got checked in (a little disappointed because we were in a different room. The first one was given in honor of two brothers, Scott and Ryan, and had tulips on the wall...oh well). We got moved in and I asked for an epidural immediately. It took a while to get it, but I did and it was SUCH a relief. After having contractions for 4 days at this point, it was so nice to not have that pain any longer.
So we waited and watching the inaugural parade and things kept progressing. The nurses commented on the dark hair they could see on the baby's head. The doctor broke my water and about midnight they said it was time to push.
So we pushed for about 2 hours and I couldn't get him passed my tail bone. So finally the doctor decided we needed to be done and used the forceps to help him come out. I had a third degree tear. That part wasn't so fun, but went quickly. Derek was 7 pounds 1 once with dark blue eyes and lots of dark hair. I think he was 19 inches, but I'm not positive on that.
We had several visitors in the hospital, which was wonderful. Paul did a great job at big brother from the beginning (of course he got lots of presents, so that helped a lot). I stayed until Friday morning. I went home a little sore, but in better shape than with my c-section, so I was thankful for that. We had lots of help and lots of meals provided.
The whole experience was so different this time because I was so much easier on myself. I didn't feel like I had to prove that I can do this. I was already a mom, and I didn't see each day as a test of my worth as a mom. This let me accept help much more easily. And it let me be easier on Derek, with less expectation of him to be perfect immediately. He is a very content baby, and a great eater so that helps too. But physically and emotionally number two has been easier (so far).
Okay, so here's the rest of the story (only 5 weeks later, I've been a little busy).
I really wanted Scott to get to teach the whole school day. They called off school the Thursday and Friday before because it was SO cold. Then we were in the hospital Monday, so Tuesday was his first day there in a while. I asked the doctor if he thought this was okay. He said if my contractions got to 3 minutes apart I shouldn't wait any longer.
So I called Scott to give him the heads up. I told him I would try to wait until 3:05, but I couldn't make any promises. Julie drove me back to Rochelle (about 15 minutes) and the contractions immediately came faster. I knew the Scott had a prep period shortly after one. I called him then and told him I was going to the hospital, and asked if he could come or if Julie should take me. He said he'd be home in 10 minutes. This was another example of God taking care of us. The person who was going to sub for him the rest of the week was in his room when I called. He went over plans with her. Then on his way out of the building he ran into the person who had volunteered to do PA at a basket ball game if he needed. So he made arrangements with her and then came to get me.
I was waiting (impatiently) and off we went back to DeKalb. We got checked in (a little disappointed because we were in a different room. The first one was given in honor of two brothers, Scott and Ryan, and had tulips on the wall...oh well). We got moved in and I asked for an epidural immediately. It took a while to get it, but I did and it was SUCH a relief. After having contractions for 4 days at this point, it was so nice to not have that pain any longer.
So we waited and watching the inaugural parade and things kept progressing. The nurses commented on the dark hair they could see on the baby's head. The doctor broke my water and about midnight they said it was time to push.
So we pushed for about 2 hours and I couldn't get him passed my tail bone. So finally the doctor decided we needed to be done and used the forceps to help him come out. I had a third degree tear. That part wasn't so fun, but went quickly. Derek was 7 pounds 1 once with dark blue eyes and lots of dark hair. I think he was 19 inches, but I'm not positive on that.
We had several visitors in the hospital, which was wonderful. Paul did a great job at big brother from the beginning (of course he got lots of presents, so that helped a lot). I stayed until Friday morning. I went home a little sore, but in better shape than with my c-section, so I was thankful for that. We had lots of help and lots of meals provided.
The whole experience was so different this time because I was so much easier on myself. I didn't feel like I had to prove that I can do this. I was already a mom, and I didn't see each day as a test of my worth as a mom. This let me accept help much more easily. And it let me be easier on Derek, with less expectation of him to be perfect immediately. He is a very content baby, and a great eater so that helps too. But physically and emotionally number two has been easier (so far).
Sunday, February 15, 2009
The Arrival of Derek Jude Part 1
So here's the whole story (almost 4 weeks later) of Derek's arrival.
I started having contractions on Saturday morning. These were a few an hour, and strong enough to make me take a few deep breaths. We ran errands that day and kept track of them, but they didn't grow any more consistant. Then I woke up at 3:00am Sunday with a much stronger contraction. They immediately started coming every 10 minutes. So at 5:00am I called the doctor and he said we should head to the hospital.
We got on the road and about 3 miles out of town the "low tire pressure light" came on. Then we started to hear that "flat tire" thump. Yes, our new mini van, on the way to the hospital, in the middle of the country, has a flat tire. Who gets flat tires anymore??? So we pull over at the next small town. I call Julie and ask her to come since we didn't know how long it would take. She got Paul up and put him in the car. We didn't even know where the spare tire was and it took about 10 minutes to find it. (It was under the car.) So I waited inside Casey's while Scott changed the tire in the 5 degree weather. He got it changed just as Julie arrived. We sent them back home and Paul kept saying, "This is a wierd day. I'm still in my jammies!"
We arrived at the hospital at about 6:30. They admited me for "observation." We spent a VERY long day there with the contractions not doing anything. They got about 3 minutes apart, but I still wasn't dialating. So they gave me some drugs so I could sleep. The Doctor (not my doc, just the on-call doc) said we'd re-evaluate in the morning. I thought that meant we'd consider a c-section or something else to encourage labor. Instead, when we found that I still wasn't dilated, he sent us home. I was devastated that I was going home without a baby. And very confused, because I didn't know when I should come back. I was still having contractions, just not consistently. That was a rough day. It also happened to be Columbus Day, so my doctor's office wasn't open and I couldn't talk to him.
I had contractions all day and night Monday. Tuesday morning I called to schedule a time to see my doctor. This was inauguration day. He checked me, told me I was dilated 4 cm and then invited me into his office to watch Obama take the oath of office over the Internet. Then the doctor said this was real and I could head over to the hospital immediately or wait until the contractions were more consistent.
Derek is crying. More later.
I started having contractions on Saturday morning. These were a few an hour, and strong enough to make me take a few deep breaths. We ran errands that day and kept track of them, but they didn't grow any more consistant. Then I woke up at 3:00am Sunday with a much stronger contraction. They immediately started coming every 10 minutes. So at 5:00am I called the doctor and he said we should head to the hospital.
We got on the road and about 3 miles out of town the "low tire pressure light" came on. Then we started to hear that "flat tire" thump. Yes, our new mini van, on the way to the hospital, in the middle of the country, has a flat tire. Who gets flat tires anymore??? So we pull over at the next small town. I call Julie and ask her to come since we didn't know how long it would take. She got Paul up and put him in the car. We didn't even know where the spare tire was and it took about 10 minutes to find it. (It was under the car.) So I waited inside Casey's while Scott changed the tire in the 5 degree weather. He got it changed just as Julie arrived. We sent them back home and Paul kept saying, "This is a wierd day. I'm still in my jammies!"
We arrived at the hospital at about 6:30. They admited me for "observation." We spent a VERY long day there with the contractions not doing anything. They got about 3 minutes apart, but I still wasn't dialating. So they gave me some drugs so I could sleep. The Doctor (not my doc, just the on-call doc) said we'd re-evaluate in the morning. I thought that meant we'd consider a c-section or something else to encourage labor. Instead, when we found that I still wasn't dilated, he sent us home. I was devastated that I was going home without a baby. And very confused, because I didn't know when I should come back. I was still having contractions, just not consistently. That was a rough day. It also happened to be Columbus Day, so my doctor's office wasn't open and I couldn't talk to him.
I had contractions all day and night Monday. Tuesday morning I called to schedule a time to see my doctor. This was inauguration day. He checked me, told me I was dilated 4 cm and then invited me into his office to watch Obama take the oath of office over the Internet. Then the doctor said this was real and I could head over to the hospital immediately or wait until the contractions were more consistent.
Derek is crying. More later.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
New Favorite Song
I think I have a new favorite song. It is by Andrew Peterson (no surprise there, if you don't have his stuff, you need to get it). This is the bridge and last verse to the song "The Good Confession (I Believe)" from his new album "Resurrection Letters Volume 2." Sometimes I'm not sure what I believe, but I like the simplicity of getting back to what matters. (And listening to your three-year-old sing this is perhaps the most beautiful sound in the world.)
All I know is that I was blind but now I see
that though I kick and scream, Love is leading me.
And every step of the way his grace is making me;
with every breath I breathe,
he is saving me.
And I believe.
So when my body’s weak and the day is long,
when I feel my faith is all but gone,
I’ll remember when I sing this song
that I believe.
I believe he is the Christ,
Son of the living God,
I believe he is the Christ
Son of the living God.
My Lord, my Savior.
My Lord, my Savior.
I believe.
All I know is that I was blind but now I see
that though I kick and scream, Love is leading me.
And every step of the way his grace is making me;
with every breath I breathe,
he is saving me.
And I believe.
So when my body’s weak and the day is long,
when I feel my faith is all but gone,
I’ll remember when I sing this song
that I believe.
I believe he is the Christ,
Son of the living God,
I believe he is the Christ
Son of the living God.
My Lord, my Savior.
My Lord, my Savior.
I believe.
Monday, January 5, 2009
Preparation
My wonderful husband has indulged me on every item of the honey-do list and we are in pretty good shape. The crib is put together. The car seat is washed. We have diapers and pacifiers. Starting Saturday we'll have our live-in Paul-watcher. So lots of people have been asking what we need.
a space heater for the nursery
a sit and stand stroller
a couple of spare covers for my boppy pillow
money toward any of this and our hospital stay
This being said, we are acutely aware of how good we have it. Yet another of my friends has had a miscarriage. We've had a very boring pregnancy. My husband has a steady job. We are surrounded by people who want to help us. We have a warm house and quiet neighbors. We have a healthy three-year-old. We don't know why we get all this and we are so thankful. We can't wait to meet our new little boy and show him all the blessings God's prepared for him. Why doesn't every baby get to be born into a situation like this?
a space heater for the nursery
a sit and stand stroller
a couple of spare covers for my boppy pillow
money toward any of this and our hospital stay
This being said, we are acutely aware of how good we have it. Yet another of my friends has had a miscarriage. We've had a very boring pregnancy. My husband has a steady job. We are surrounded by people who want to help us. We have a warm house and quiet neighbors. We have a healthy three-year-old. We don't know why we get all this and we are so thankful. We can't wait to meet our new little boy and show him all the blessings God's prepared for him. Why doesn't every baby get to be born into a situation like this?
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)